LOVE LANGUAGE #1: Words of Affirmation

Compliments, words of encouragement, and requests rather than demands all affirm the self-worth of your spouse. They create intimacy, heal wounds, and bring out the full potential of your other half.

1. Take an evening to allow your spouse to share his or her dreams, interests, and talents. Draw out the specifics through empathetic listening. After putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes, lovingly and sincerely encourage him/her, and offer to help achieve these goals in any way possible.

2. Familiarity may breed contempt or discourtesy in different forms. Check certain characteristics of your relationship over the last week. Has your tone been harsh, your attitude sarcastic, or your viewpoint judgmental? Have you focused mainly on where your spouse has failed? Resolve these issues and seek forgiveness.

3. Evaluate your relational style in terms of communication patterns. Do your words reflect requests, suggestions, and guidance? Or do they hint at demands, ultimatums, or even threats? Remember that choice, free will, and voluntary service are key aspects of love. How can you improve your verbal approach to your spouse?

4. There is an infinite variety of kind, intimate, and supportive ways of verbally communicating with your mate. As the book suggests, start a notebook entitled “Words of Affirmation” in which you record creative and superior ways of building up your spouse, even in the smallest ways.

5. Marriage can be vastly improved by a simple technique. Make a list of things you especially appreciate about your spouse. Then twice a week give your spouse other verbal compliments based on your list. After the list is exhausted, decide to continue this for two months as opportunities arise.

Taken from www.fivelovelanguages.com.