A Love Language Minute: What Love Really Means

What Love Really Means

Ways to Show Your Love

From Dr Gary Chapman

Last week I suggested that there are two basic ways to express love to your spouse: words and deeds. Today we look at deeds. The apostle John said, “Love not in word only, but in deed.” Do something to show your love.

Love is kind, the Bible says. So, find something kind and do it. It might be an unexpected gift, or washing the car that they drive. It might be keeping the children while they go shopping or hiking. Or, how about a love letter. How long has it been since you wrote your spouse a love letter? Or, perhaps dinner at a restaurant that doesn’t have a drive through window.

Love is patient. So, stop pacing the floor while your spouse is getting ready to go. Sit down, relax, read your Bible and pray. Love is also courteous. The word means court-like. So, do some of the things you did when you were courting. Do you remember, ladies, how you used to reach over and touch his neck? Do you remember, guys, how you used to open the car door for her? Express your love by your actions.

Loving the Unlovely
Now I want to give you a very difficult challenge. It is found in the words of Jesus recorded in Matthew chapter five, “Love your enemies.” Anyone have a husband who qualifies? “Pray for those who persecute you.” You feel persecuted? Pray for the one who is persecuting you. And I don’t think he means pray that the wrath of God will fall on them.

This is the challenge to love an unlovely spouse. It’s fairly easy to love your spouse when your spouse is loving you. But what if they treat you harshly, take advantage of you, and humiliate you? For this, you will need the help of God. God specializes in loving the unlovely. When I say love, I’m not talking about trying to have warm feelings for the person. I’m talking about choosing to see them as a person of worth, as someone for whom Christ died.

Therefore, I will talk to them and treat them with dignity and respect. In so doing, I may be God’s agent of love. Who knows? They may even begin to reciprocate.